It’s obvious and pointless to mention that in today’s world of the Wild West, sorry Wide Web communication …. you adapt or you disappear, you disappear from the cool social media like the dinosaurs disappeared in the Cretaceous!
It took me a while I have to confess, but I think I come up with how you can survive, and how you can start to be as cool as a teenager that can send 10 text messages in one minute, without using their hands!
I will start with these 10 basic, essential rules of coolness on Facebook, of course you can extend it and try to apply it on other online form of communication or socializing.
Here we go, prepare yourself to be transformed :
1. Vaguebooking. I bet you did not hear about this so far (see… I told you this is very cool). So be as vague as possible on your status, write things like : “This sucks!” or “What a terrible day”. Of course you’re not begging for attention, you are just so damn cool, don’t worry if most people won’t understand you, they are just not as cool as you!
2. Overload on the corny quotes
“..Dance like no one’s watching, sing like…” whoo hoo, even if you don’t have a clue what it means or tying to say, put it on baby, you want to be cool, don’t you?
3. Post timely statements frequently and regularly. Exclaim your desire or demand for coffee every morning: “Good morning, time for my coffee”, or your time to sleep: “It’s late, time for bed!”, or proclaim “TGIF” every Friday, because your friends will be thankful for the reminder that it’s Friday!
4. When you want to send a message to one of your facebook friends write on the wall instead of communicating privately,best example is when you invite someone to a private party, this way you make sure all the people on their friends list who you don’t want in the party will know!
5. Tag, tag and tag again, but remember there is a secret to tagging, : make sure you choose pictures where everyone else but you looks absolutely ridiculous, so you will be shown in all your glory, nobody else shadowing your coolness!
6. NEVER reply to comments especially if they are questions, that is so uncool!. If you ignore them all the time, chances are that they will eventually get it, and realize how cool you are.
7. Grammar is for losers, not for cool people like you, it is so uncool to write in a proper way, almost as uncool as saying thank you when someone is opening the door for you.So don’t worry, best way to write is something like this: „thinks ur as useless ass tits on a nun”, „ur roommate has 2 eat sum of ur food”, “wudnt mind findin out who robbed me fkin bag wid eveyfin in it” . This are beautiful examples of coolness, but to get there I am telling you, natural talent is required, it’s not impossible with a lot of exercise, maybe special coolness lessons included you might get there!
8. When you are chatting with someone, always leave your friend waiting for your responses, until you deal with everything else you have to do, I mean you are a cool person, and cool people have a lot of things to do, and DO make sure you are the one to abruptly end the chat session, no need for goodbye, have to go or any explanations like that, just leave and be cool!
9. Dedicate your Facebook profile to your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Matching pictures for each profile, confessing your love to one another under – dedications written to each other on your wall reminding them how much you love them. Example: “Baby, I luv you so much- this has been the best 7 weeks of my life- I LOVE YOU, [insert pet name here]!I can assure you this is beyond cool, is the epitome of coolness!
10. DO not forget to send all your friends, everyday requests for a gazillion games, apps, and social sites that you like, so nobody will ever confuse you with a mere normal, not cool person that is not up to date with all the coolness in the world!