I carry heaven in me, everyday, I wake up and my being is there, feeling the warm and the peace and the happiness, I feel that little craziness and hope, and I am open to get the world in, I am ready to smile all day, to enjoy and accept all is around, and I can swear I will hold it with me in everything I am going to do!
But ohhhh dear god, you punished us well, very well when you cast us out of heaven, you created….. the built-in alarm, yes that buzzing, never stopping noise inside us!
We call it MIND, we do, and it does wake up, every morning, a bit slow, a bit late, a bit tired from the previous round, still carrying the black eye from the punch I gave her yesterday but is more alert than ever, ready to analyze, every move calculated, scenarios ready and it only knows this world, and only its doings, cause and effect, patterns, expectations, projections, and she is always right!
My being is ready to accept there is no past or future, to accept the present, and not knowing what will follow does not even make it ….blink …. is ready to completely enjoy everything and everyone! There is no sin or sickness, no stress or strain, there is no fear, we and all that it is, IS enough, and we are perfect!
I still carry heaven in my being but I can never find the alarm stopping button in time, and nothing is enough for her, for my Mind, she wants me to be better than anyone else, she entered me in this competition with everyone and the world itself, I need to never give up , I need to be confident, outgoing, attractive, smart, responsible, emotionless, powerful and merciful, active and reflective, kind and competitive, I need to be better in bed, to be pretty, to be a heartbreaker, to be beautiful, in control, to be famous, likable, organized, popular, I need to be more than I am .. much more!
And I know at the end of the day, my mind and her best friend EGO is going to hold me responsible for not being all that, and will tell me I am useless and unimportant, and how awfully I let the world down!
But there is still hope because I know I still carry heaven in me, and I know the truth and if I look into it, I know I am and I have all I need, all the happiness, all the joy, all the peace, all the goodness is inside me, heaven is there and there is where I want to be, not where my mind is trying to take me!