Recently the P.E.N.I.S foundation for the advanced sexiness and beauty in modern girls, released a study based on the measurement of the pupillary response in more than 1000 subjects, all men.
After been asked to strip naked they were exposed to different stimuli, mainly pictures with women, and just a few with goats, to see what creates the biggest dilatation…. of the pupil!
So after reading it carefully, finally everything is clear for me now, clearer than ever before and as today I feel very generous I am going to reveal to the world the 3 most important things girls need to do if they want to ooze sexiness and find the perfect partner for the procreation of the human species :
BREASTS, right when you turn 18 or even earlier if you can convince your parents, get all the plastic you can find in your house, ideally you should start collecting it a few years in advance to make sure you have enough, and run to the first clinic and tell them you want it ALL inside your body especially in the upper part of your chest, where normal, absolutely NOT sexy women have breasts, somewhere around that area, and girls do not give up until you look like this:
LIPS, we all know that lips indicate romance and women with bigger lips look more romantic, so obviously you want to have them as big as guys that want to kiss you might have to hold onto something for the fear of getting their brain sucked out! For further inspiration check out these overly romantic creatures:
Don’t forget to buy a paint roller for the lipstick application!!!
HAIR…. and girls, apparently there is no such thing as ….too blonde….when it comes to the dilatation of the pupil in men. So if your hair is brown, red or you think is blonde… no you are not sexy until your hair looks like have been bleached more often than your toilet!!!
And yes, I know what you are thinking, what can highlight better your new sexy not too blonde hair then a nice ginormous amount of tan!!! Yes ladies if you can get a swimming pool of fake tan where you can swim every morning then you can call yourself the mother,the goddess the Joanne D’Arc of all sexiness out there!!!
And of course after all this, only after all this we have to remember that we need to be intelligent and well spoken and expect to be taken seriously, so if you catch any male chauvinist pig not looking in your eyes when you talk to them, yes ladies get them down and smother them with your plastic parts until they squeeze like little girls!!!
You go girls, go and conquer the world!!!