I’ve heard a lot of things in my life, some of it you wouldn’t believe yourself, once I’ve even heard something that sounded like: “darling, you are the only one, there will never be another”… go figure!
But it wasn’t until a couple of days ago when I’ve heard about VIRTUAL RACING (running races that is)… I mean don’t be so fast in judging me… I’ve heard about virtual things: virtual reality, or virtual life, virtual hug, virtual tourism or even virtual sex …., ok, ok tell me do you know what a virtual sheep is? Do you?
But,”virtual race” virtual running, ahhh my dreams are coming true, I would virtually win every single virtual race, out there, and how I would win it, in style people, in style and all the crowd will scream my name, time after time, and everyone around will have my picture on their t-shirts, a gigantic poster with me smiling will shadow half of the track…. while I wave to the crowd from the golden podium…
ON a not necessarily related development, let me tell you what I virtually did once, I must have been 12 years old, it was the first sunny warm day of spring, after a winter that felt longer than a day spent on a dentist chair. I was preparing to go out and play so I just grabbed a t-shirt I had from the year before, very excited that I get to play with my friends outside before doing my homework …… but ohhh, my excitement died sooner than the erection of a 14 year old in front of Angelina Jolie, before she married Brad……I saw myself in the mirror, and, there were this 2 bumps, strangely coming from the upper part of my t-shirt!!! I honestly thought it was part of the t-shirt first I really did … but then I realized, ohh mama what is this growing on my chest!!! Ohh my god what is wrong with me?
I ran in the bathroom too scared to cry, thinking about how to make it disappear, I blink my eyes twice like Samantha the witch but it didn’t work out, still there, I sat down in my knees praying to God: I promise it’s the last thing I am asking you my dear God, make it go please, it still didn’t work, so I took things in my own hands, as I do since then from time to time …. I took the bandana I was wearing on my head and desperately trying to tie it across my chest, and make a knot behind my back to hide the enemies …… but instead of disappearing, the bumps just moved upper…. I looked like Victoria Beckham in a good day, after a while I end it up on the floor, fighting the beasts…. don’t remember who won!!!
Anyway….. what a hell I was thinking!!!!
A lot of things have changed since then, now the only place I have the boobs I want is in a VIRTUAL reality!